Yesterday's Feelings, Today's Consequences
by BflyKB
Summary: Jasper deals with the death of Alice and his guilt. Many years after her death his family is fed up with his depression and Bella decides to help him. After losing the love of his life, is Jasper ready to let someone else in? Can he trust himself? AU
1. I'll be The One who'll Break My Heart

**A/N:** Well hello there! This is not my first fan fiction, but it is my first Twilight fan fiction so I hope you enjoy it. I'm not sure if I want to continue with it because I have so many jumbled up ideas in my head for different stories so sometimes I drop off the deep end of my mind and disappear for awhile. So what I'm trying to say, in so many words, is if there is some response to this story I'll keep writing…although I have chapter two going so I might just do it anyway…haha enough of me……..

This story is MU for My Universe and nothing but the plot belongs to me. Characters belong to SM, I've just taken over as puppet master for awhile. It's all in Jasper's POV

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"This is the first, now it's the last. Afraid of the dark. An empty heart. Where do we go after we're gone? Why is this hard? I know I'm wrong. I'm so lost. I'm barely here. I wish I could explain myself, but the words escape me. It's too late to save me. You're too late."

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**Chapter One: I'll be The One who'll Break My Heart**

I had no idea this was going to be the night that I relapsed. I laugh now thinking about my use of the word relapse, like I was some addict. I suppose in my family I would be the outcast, the addict. They all had gotten over this particular drug and didn't need it anymore; however, I constantly craved it. The thirst was always over powering and it was just so simple to snatch a human that was wandering on their own and satiate the hunger deep inside of me. If it weren't for her, Alice, I would have never put up with the emptiness left inside me after feeding from a disgusting animal. She was the love of my life and over the many years I grew fond of my family. There was no other place I would rather be. Even though many years have passed since the death of Alice, that fateful day still haunts me. It was my fault, all my fault….

It was one of those rare evenings in Forks, Washington where clouds didn't consume the sky. The sun was slowly setting filling the sky with an array of oranges and pinks. The Cullen house was fairly quiet from the outside. Everyone was doing their own things except for Edward who was on his honeymoon with Bella. I was anxiously pacing the room Alice and I shared because Edward would return with Bella tomorrow and she would be living with us. Alice was trying to calm me down.

"Alice will you please let me be? Stop comforting me all the damn time, I don't deserve it," I said quietly letting my frustration out in my words.

"I'm just trying to let you know it will be ok Jasper. I know you won't hurt her. You're a good guy," Alice repeated the same mantra every time I screwed something up.

"Will you just stop it with that? I'm not like everyone and you know that. This diet is rough for me. Every time Bella is around all of us….it's just rough. I'm use to it at school, but to come home and not be able to relax…," I let out an exasperated sigh.

"I know Jas, but everything will be fine. Trust me," she said rubbing my back trying to soothe me.

I pushed her away from me, "I'm going for a walk."

With that I ran out of the house. Alice and I have been having troubles ever since Bella walked into Edward's life. I never could be around her too long because the smell of her was just too overwhelming. Alice kept pushing me to try and I was never known for my patience. I spent less time with Alice because she always wanted to be around Bella and Edward, or she was always talking about Bella. It just set me off. I already spent enough time worrying about humans. I was always on edge.

I ran around the woods for a long time. I had no direction and I was just whizzing back and forth over the same areas. It frustrated me that I couldn't really run free due to this stupid treaty with those mongrels. I wasn't paying too much attention to where I was going when I heard a female voice cry out for help.

"Help! Help me please! Is anyone out there?" cried the fearful human.

I ran over to where she was and slowed down to a normal human pace as I drew near. She was sitting on the moss covered ground holding on to a broken right leg.

"Oh, thank God! Can you please help me sir? My leg is broken and I don't have my phone to call for help. Could you please let someone know I'm out here," she cried.

I looked down at her leg. It was bleeding profusely and I knew she must have damaged a major artery. There was blood everywhere; she would be dead by the time someone got here. I took a deep breath and let the scent envelop me. My mind started to work fast taking in the scene and listening for any other sounds but the two of us. It was just us, alone together. I settled on the benefits of this situation and decided to take full advantage. No one would have to know.

"Sir? Do you have a phone?" she asked slightly confused at my noticeable hesitation.

I smiled sweetly and sent a wave of calm over her body as I crouched down to reach her. I put my hand on the side of her face, smiling sweetly as I said, "Don't worry darling, it will all be over soon."

She looked at me with fearful eyes, but leaned into my touch. They always did. She didn't speak as I leaned into her neck and bit down. I relished in the feeling that came over me as her sweet warm blood touched the back of my throat. I wouldn't stop, I couldn't stop.

"JASPER NO!" I heard Alice scream. I didn't even look up. I couldn't I was entranced with feeding my hunger, "OH MY GOD JASPER! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?"

I snapped out of my feeding and lowered the lifeless body onto the ground. I stood up and tried to wrap my arms around Alice.

She pushed me away and whispered, "What have you done? This is the end of us Jasper…how could you?"

I was confused by the defeated posture of Alice, "I'm sorry Alice. I told you, I just can't help my self."

Alice looked at me and her fists were flying pounding me on the chest. Her body shook and I knew if she could she would be crying. I didn't fully understand what she meant until I turned around and heard a low growl.

Alice stiffened up and was already in fighting stance. "Go Jasper! Get Carlisle! Hurry! I'll hold them off."

My eyes widened and shook my head angrily, "No! I will not leave you alone. You go get Carlisle and I will fight. I have more experience than you!"

"NO!" She shouted, "You will die. I've seen it now go!"

I stood my ground and prepared myself for the wolves attack, but Alice pushed me away, "Go! I'll be fine! Trust me, now go!"

I reluctantly turned away and thought I heard her whisper I love you as I ran towards the house. I worried about Alice, but she did have her ability to know what would happen. I had to trust in her. I burst into the house and shouted for everyone's help. As quick as lightening we were all headed back towards Alice.. When we returned from the spot I had left her, three men were throwing pieces of Alice into a fire. I snarled at the men causing them to turn around and take their stance.

Carlisle spoke, "Emmett, hold on to Jasper," as I was being restrained and trying to break from my bonds that were Emmett's arms. Carlisle walked towards the men in a submissive way, "we are not going to attack. Please calm down."

"Calm down? You want us to calm down? You bloodsuckers broke the treaty. You harmed a human being. But we got one of you leeches and we're going to get the rest of you," one of the wolves said as he began to shake.

I continued my snarling as Carlisle tried to reason with them, "Look, we broke the treaty and we are leaving. There is no need for us to fight."

The same wolf laughed and shook his head, "You think we would just let you leave with out a fight?"

"Quiet Paul," said another wolf who was clearly the leader. Sam I think his name is, "You have until sunrise. You are not welcome back here and any one that steps foot in this area will be killed." With that he turned around and disappeared into the forest followed but the other two wolves.

All I saw was red. I kept envisioning me ripping apart those wolves. My sweet Alice, my world. I was carried all the way back to the house. I stood in the center of the living room fuming. Everyone could feel the anger radiating off my body.

It was Carlisle who broke the silence, "Jasper, it will be ok son. We have to go," he said softly rubbing my back.

I relaxed and I couldn't hold myself up anymore. I fell to the ground on my knees shaking. Nothing made me long to be human more than this moment. I wanted to cry for my darling Alice, for everything I lost, for everything I did.

"All my fault….this is all my fault…." I whispered over and over again.

* * *

I have never longed for humanity like I do now. How easy it would be to hurl myself off of something or into something and it would all be over. Everyone kept a close eye on me when I wasn't in my room. I walked around like a zombie doing mundane tasks. I went back to the diet and stuck to it over the years, never wanting to taste human blood after that night. I wanted to leave, but Carlisle and Esme didn't want to lose another family member. I knew I couldn't do that to them. It was already my fault Alice was gone. It was terrible living in this house with all the couples; I finally knew how Edward felt all those years, but now he had Bella.

I was vaguely aware of Bella's transformation. I knew it had to be done. We had to leave and she had to come with us since they were married. Eventually Edward gave in and changed her. There was a celebration, but I barley registered it. I hardly interacted with anyone knowing I was to blame for all of this. They often sent me away because of the depressing mood I radiated out to everyone else. Of course they didn't want me around; hell, I could depress the devil and they had so much to be happy for. Everybody went off to school while I opted to stay home with Esme. I was known as the older brother going to college. It was the perfect excuse for me not to have to leave the house and when I did go out I was home visiting.

I always would receive concerned sideways glances from everyone when they thought I wasn't looking. Edward was always looking in my direction; I never tried to hide my thoughts from him. I didn't see the point and he probably was waiting for signs that I lost my mind…if vampires can go insane. I might be the first. All I could think about was Alice, what she would be doing now, what she would be saying. I always imagined her near me. I was the sole provider for my pain and the only recipient. I would punish myself for all of eternity…what else was I to do?

A century came and went, nothing had changed. We would move to a new town, pretend to be what we weren't for a certain amount of time, go into hiding and do it all over again. I followed along not really caring. It was all so very mundane and what was a 100 years to me. It was another moving day.

I heard a soft knock on the door and Esme's voice, "Jasper? Can I come in?"

"Yes Ma'am," I called as I set my book down on the end table.

Esme sat down in the chair on my side and took my hands in her own, "Jasper sweetie, we are leaving again."

I felt the nervousness roll off of her and I said slowly, "It is about that time again ain't it…."

She sighed, "It pains me to see you like this. For a century now you have been shutting yourself out from the world. You stay in your room all the time. You hardly speak to any of us anymore."

"What would you have me do? There ain't nothing else for me now, except to wait until my existence ceases to be," I said quietly in a defeated tone.

She kissed my hands, "We do not blame you. No one could possibly think to blame you for this. It was a mistake."

"A mistake I will carry with me until the end of my days," I returned.

"Enough Jasper! You are a part of this family and I will not watch you waste away like this," she exclaimed in a stern tone. I knew she meant business when she used her mom voice. She sighed and cupped my cheek, "I love you son. We all do. I need you to try. We are moving back to Forks." She saw the shock register on my face and she stood, "Just try. That is all I ask. We are enrolling you at Fork's High School. This is not negotiable if you continue to want to be in this family. I hope you choose to stay Jasper because we all love you, but we can not bear to see you like this. It will never be the same without Alice in our lives, but you can not honestly think she would want you to spend your time like this."

She strolled out of the room and closed the door behind her a little harder than necessary. I sighed as I thought about what Esme had said. I knew she was right; Alice wouldn't want me to be like this. I didn't mean to hurt the family more than I already had, but what was I to do? I played with the watch Alice had given me for my "birthday." I missed her everyday. I felt so lost without her. I didn't want to admit it to myself, but I knew I would try.

It was Labor Day weekend when we moved back into our old house. Everyone rushed in, enjoying the comfort of their favorite home. I approached the house with great trepidation and made it to the steps that led into the house. The angst was rolling off me in waves. I dropped to my knees and put my head in my hands, a position I was all too comfortable in. I felt like I was re-living the worst night of my life as I felt arms wrap around my body and cradle me.

"Jasper?" Bella whispered rocking me back and forth.

I could feel the strength coming off of her trying to resist the emotions I was sending out. It made me angry at myself, "Just go Bella. I don't want to be a burden to you."

She continued to the rocking and said, "Oh Jasper, you could never be a burden. I know we don't know each other too well, but I want to help you through this. Alice was my best friend and I can't watch you do this anymore. No one blames you. We all just want to help."

"I think I'm beyond help," I moaned.

"No one is beyond help Jasper Hale. Now let's go inside," Bella said with so much conviction that I couldn't help but reluctantly follow her inside.

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A/N: Well there you go! I know Jasper is all angst-y right now, but I figured he'd be that depressed considering the life he had before Alice came along. Never fear! With Bella by his side we're sure to see the charming Jasper appear. Oh, I also wanted Jasper to have a more southern speech so if you're annoyed by the non word "ain't" like I am…well that's why ha.…anyhoo I guess that's all I have to say…which is surprising… Oh please review and give me some feedback good or bad, criticism makes my world go round. Also...The quote from the beginning are song lyrics from Blink 182 "Stockholm Syndrome" and the title of the chapter are lyrics from Feist "Feel it All" Ok now I'm done.


	2. The Brightest Green

A/N: Welcome to Ch 2! I realized when I first started this story, the direction I was going bored me so after an hour or so of staring at the first paragraph of this chapter I came up with some great ideas! Now we have that spice that makes the dish, which you won't find out until later, but such is life…

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"She stood 5'4. She had the brightest green I'd ever seen, I've never seen these eyes before and just like that I was hypnotized…."

-Anarbor "The Brightest Green"

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Chapter Two: The Brightest Green

For the past two weeks Bella was practically attached to my hip; she rarely left me alone. At first it was irritating especially when all I wanted to do was be alone, but I quickly learned that she had no intentions of giving up on me, even after I tried to annoy her with my nicknames for her.

I learned a lot about Bella; I found she adjusted very quickly to her new lifestyle when she first became a vampire. It made me extremely jealous that she had a strong control of her thirst. She had visited Charlie from time to time until his death. She missed him, but she loved being with Edward and the family. I hardly said a word, but that didn't seem to matter to her. Sometimes I would sit in my room reading and she would come in, browse my library, sit next to me and read as well. It was oddly comforting to have Bella around.

It was a few nights before school started and Bella dragged me down to the living room for a family meeting. I sincerely hope this meeting isn't about me. I wouldn't be able to stand it; I was already trying.

"Oh Jasper and Bella, excellent, have a seat," Carlisle said motioning to the couch.

We took our seats and Esme, who was standing next to Carlisle, clapped her hands and said, "Alright, so school starts tomorrow and I know you all hate my speech to get you excited about our new roles so I won't do it this time."

"Yes!" Emmett exclaimed and the others laughed.

I felt slightly out of the loop from keeping to myself for so long.

Esme gave one of her patented glares at the family and continued, "The reason I wanted you all here right now is because Carlisle and I wanted to know what grades you guys wanted to be in this time around."

Everyone but me all shouted out, "seniors."

Carlisle laughed, "You all can't be seniors. I know you'd rather spend one year in school than two, but it would just be better if we had a mix. How about Edward and Bella are seniors and Rosalie, Emmett and Jasper can be juniors?"

"Can I be a junior with Jasper?" Bella asked and Edward raised an eyebrow.

"If you're a junior than I'm a junior too, Bella," Edward answered.

"Great! Rosie and I will be seniors and they can be juniors. We're all set," Emmett said restarting his video game.

"Alright then," I said and made my way back to my room.

As I predicted as soon as I shut my door, Bella reopened it and sat down in the chair next to me. I continued reading my book waiting for her to say something. I could feel the anxiety rolling off of her; it was almost too much for me to stand.

"What is it, Bella Bee?" I exclaimed slamming my book shut. I always hated that anxious feeling.

"Um…are you nervous about school on Monday?" she asked ignoring my temper.

"This isn't my first rodeo darling, why should I be nervous?" I asked a little annoyed.

If she was going to ask about my will power….

"Well I mean you being around so many humans and all…" Bella started.

I stared at her with wide eyes, "Well slap my head and call me silly. There's going to be humans there?"

I watched as Bella's mouth formed a tight line. I got up from my chair and began to reorganize my books. I heard her sigh and I turned around to look at her.

"Look, I'm fine Bee. I already lost the love of my life by killing a human; I'm not too keen on reliving the memories. Being here is already enough of a memory. Now I told you and Esme that I'm fixin' to do my best here, but it ain't gonna happen with ya'll asking me ridiculous questions and watching me all the goddamn time," I explained crossing my arms.

"Ok…I'm just trying to help, Jasper," Bella said with a sigh.

"I know. Can you just help a little less?" I said exasperated.

"But you're already doing so much better," Bella smiled.

"Well I have an annoying little sister attached to my hip," I returned with a smile.

"Even after a century it still feels weird having siblings. I mean Rosalie is like the older sister that wants nothing to do with her younger sister and goes out of her way to ignore me. Emmett is more like a little kid than a big brother half the time. You're like the normal one….minus the depression."

"Well shucks Bee, aren't you sweet," I said sarcastically.

"I know and stop calling me Bee. I don't even know why you call me that."

"I thought it was obvious. You're small and cute, but sometimes you bug the hell out of me," I said with a toothy grin.

She rolled her eyes, "Nice, you're definitely sweeter than me. Well... this is kind of exciting, school should be interesting."

I raised an eyebrow, "Should be interesting? You've been doing this for a century. How could it possibly be interesting?"

She laughed, "Well I like humans' reaction to us. It's amusing, plus you'll be with us this time so it'll be different."

"If you say so," I said rolling my eyes.

"I do. Trust me I have a feeling," she said with a smile.

* * *

Edward, Bella, and I arrived at Forks early to fill out paper work and get our class schedules. The secretary gasped as we walked into the office. I always wondered what on-lookers thought of us. We probably looked like models. As if Carlisle and Esme only adopted attractive children.

I looked my schedule over and rolled my eyes. This was going to be so boring. I felt Bella looking over my shoulder.

"Hey, we have two classes together Jasper and I have two with Edward! This is going to be great!" Bella exclaimed.

"Whatever you say, Bee," I said grimly.

"I do say. Let's go to English negative Nancy," she said with a smile.

"Don't call me Nancy," I said as she linked arms with me and practically skipped to English class.

I couldn't help but laugh a little bit. It was hard to be in a bad mood when she was in such a good mood. The little time I've spent with Bella as a human, I've never seen her so happy-go-lucky. I wonder where that came from; then again all she wanted was to be a vampire and a part of this family. She really enjoyed her life now.

We walked into English class a few minutes after it started and every head turned to stare at us with a slight gasp escaping their lips.

With a big smile Bella introduced us, "Hi Mrs. Hart. I'm Bella Masen and this is Jasper Hale. We're new to Forks High School."

"Oh yes, Jasper and Bella. Welcome to Junior English: American Literature. Jasper please have a seat next to Melinda and there is a seat next to Lucas for you Bella."

I walked towards Melinda and she stared at me with wide eyes. I sighed internally, humans really couldn't help themselves; they always had to stare. The closer I came to her she began to frown and knit her eyebrows. I could almost swear she was giving me the stink eye. I was a little more than confused as I took my seat next to her. She looked very unhappy that I had to sit next to her.

I thought I would break the tension I felt around her. I gave her my award winning smile and said, "Hi. I'm Jasper. Nice to meet you Melinda."

She just stared at me and said, "Uh huh," then turned her attention to Mrs. Hart who began to lecture.

I was more than confused. How could she already not like me? I know I shouldn't care, what did one human matter to me. I couldn't even smell her. I stared at her for the whole period and she never once looked in my direction; I knew she could feel my eyes on her and I could feel the anxiety rolling off of her. I did nothing to calm her down. I wanted to feel her emotions to try to understand her. I noticed she was a very attractive young woman. Her shiny mahogany colored hair fell a little past her bare shoulders.

The bell rang and she stood up to grab her stuff. I didn't move and continued to watch her and I noticed she wasn't very tall at all. Her beautiful bright green eyes flashed in my direction and she put her hands on her hips.

"What?" she exclaimed angrily, "What do you want?"

I shook my head with a smirk, "Nothing darling."

She sighed and stormed off with her belongings. She was so angry with me and I didn't do anything. It made me laugh.

I felt Bella's hand on my shoulder, "What was that about?"

I shrugged my shoulders and said, "She doesn't like me."

"That's odd," She said slightly confused.

It was very odd; maybe Bella Bee was right. School was going to be interesting.


	3. Can't Stop

A/N: So I was very much consumed with the upcoming (now over with) final episode of LOST and I had to put this story on the back burner. I'd like to update every other day, but well life sometimes gets in the way, but I didn't feel much like sleeping and I've been awake for over 24 hours now...sleep is for the weak! Anyway this chapter was a bit of a struggle because it's one of those filler things to get to the goodness that is soon to come and I just want to skip over it all and have Melinda slip all her secrets. But I have to stop myself because I need the bait to lure you in right? Meh enough rambling here's chapter 3...maybe I should sleep...

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"All alone in my room, think of you at a rate that is truly alarming. I keep looping my memories of you in my head, I pretend that you want me and I fall asleep and dream of alternate realities...And I can't stop thinking about you and I can't stop thinking about you...What I would give to have you look in my direction and I'd give my life to somehow attract your attention...and I can't stop thinking about you and I can't stop thinking about you..."

-Maroon 5 "Can't Stop"

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Chapter Three: Can't Stop

I've never been more sure about something my entire existence and that something was: Melinda Gray absolutely did not like me one bit. I sat next to Melinda in the two classes I had with her, English and Biology. She was always on edge around me and she barely acknowledged my presence even when we had group work to do. I also knew that I could not stop thinking about her; it bugged me to no end that I could not figure out where these hostile emotions were coming from and she wouldn't talk to me. It was consuming me.

A month came and went and our appeal to the humans was wearing off. Edward and I emerged from our math class and headed to the cafeteria to meet everyone else.

"Jasper, can I talk to you about something?" Edward asked cautiously.

"Sure thing," I replied intrigued. Edward and I weren't really ones for heart to hearts with each other.

"It's about that girl Melinda, you're always thinking and talking about," he said.

"What about her? Has she been thinking about me?"

"No...I mean, I don't know if she has. I haven't tried to listen to her," he answered and continued, "I know you've been in a better mood since we started school, but I think you might want to leave her alone."

"I'm not doing anything, plus I'm pretty damn sure she hates me," I said in my defense.

"Still...I'm not sure this fascination is healthy, Jasper," he said as we took our usually seats with the family.

"What fascination?" Emmett asked.

"Who else? Melinda Gray," Bella answered and Emmett grunted in response obviously bored of this topic.

"Yes, Melinda Gray. She's just interesting is all," I said as I glanced around the cafeteria for her.

"Seriously Jasper? You need to get over this. We really don't need another Bella and Edward love affair. I could hardly handle it then and there is no way I want or will put up with it now," Rosalie complained.

"Well aren't you tender hearted Rose," I replied as I spotted Melinda and her group while Rosalie answered with an annoyed growl.

"Well like you've said to us, over and over again, she doesn't seem to want anything to do with you; maybe it is best to let her be," Bella stated.

I looked at Edward and said, "Well there is only one way to know for sure..."

"I'll only do it if you'll leave her alone...wait...don't even say anything Jasper, I know you won't really agree to that, but I'll do it anyway so you'll know for sure," Edward said exasperated.

Edward looks into her mind and feels a little push, but breaks through it...

_God it's every damn day. He just sits there and stares at me. What is he playing at? You'd think he would get the hint. He can't charm me, I won't let him. _

"So?" I asked._  
_

"Well it seems that she doesn't like that you stare at her and she wishes you would take a hint," Edward answered.

"Hmm..."

"So, now will you just take the hint?" asked Rosalie.

"Yeah...I will...definitely...do that..." I answered unconvincingly.

"Seriously Jasper?" Rosalie exclaimed.

"What?" I asked innocently.

After lunch I walked to art class and then to biology; I had to keep myself from running and drawing attention to myself. I sat down in my usual seat next to Melinda and I feel her anxiety level rise. I tried not to stare, but I just couldn't help myself. I felt her anxiety turn to annoyance and anger. At the end of class, Melinda practically ran out of the room. I followed her into the parking lot, keeping my distance. My family waited by the cars and I quickened my pace towards Melinda. She reached her car, stopped, and turned around to face me.

She crossed her arms and glared at me, "I have pepper spray, Jasper, and I'm not afraid to use it."

I laugh at her tenacity, "Well aren't you quite the wide eyed doe."

She scowled, "Don't even try to charm me with your sarcastic wit and good looks."

I smile, "So you think I'm good looking."

Her scowl deepened and she angrily got into her car and yelled out the window, "If you don't get out of my way, I'll try to run you over."

I moved and shouted, "I knew you had a thing for me."

She rolled her eyes and sped off. I jogged to my family who all look very displeased except Rosalie; she looked livid. I smiled as I sent a wave of calm over them.

"Not fair, Jasper," Bella sighs.

* * *

I worked overtime keeping a calm and happy state over my family members. No one was pleased with me engaging with a human the way I was. It was strange how fascinating Melinda was to me. I couldn't bare to think of Alice. It was still too painful, but my interest in Melinda was keeping my pain at bay. There had to be a reason for it.

We arrived at school the next day; Bella and I walked to English.

"You know I love you, right?" Bella asked.

I smirked, "Well shucks Bella Bee, I love you too."

"And I want you to be happy, Jasper," she continued ignoring me.

"But..." I prompted.

"But, I'm worried about this obsession with Melinda," she said seriously.

"Obsession? I'd hardly call it an obsession. It's just my inquisitive nature," I replied indignantly.

"Inquisitive nature?" Bella laughed, "You're a hair short of being a stalker."

"Quit talking crazy Bee! I ain't no stalker, I'm a gentleman," I said outraged, "plus Edward was way worse with you."

"He didn't stalk me!" she argued.

"Yeah he did. He would sneak into your house and watch you sleep," I revealed.

She rolled her eyes, "I knew that. I kept the window open for him."

"Did you know that he did it way before you gave him permission?" I asked tilting my head at her.

She scoffed and answered, "No, but it doesn't matter. Our situation back then was very different from your situation now."

"Oh, how so?" I asked rolling my eyes.

"I liked him and Melinda doesn't like you," Bella answered smugly.

I laughed and messed up her hair, "Touche, Bella bee."

We entered the classroom and I took my seat next to Melinda. She immediately crossed her arms and rolled her eyes. She did not look at me once the entire lecture and as the bell rang she packed up her belongs and continued to her next class. Instead of going to my class I decided to catch up with her and talk to her.

I synced my footsteps with hers, "Why do you hate me? I've been nothing but a gentleman to you."

She stopped and waited for the area to be clear of students.

She placed her hands on her hip and whispered, "In order for you to be a gentleman you would have to be a man."

My eyes widened for just a second, but I shifted my facial features into a confused look, "What are you talking about? Just because I'm seventeen doesn't me I can't be a gentleman."

Her eyes narrowed, "That's not what I'm talking about and you know it."

I shook my head, "No...I don't..."

I felt the anger in her turn up a notch as she poked me in the chest, "Let me spell it out for you then. You are NOT human. I don't know what kind of sick game your _family_ is playing, pretending to be high school students, and I don't want to know. If they knew you were here...," she shook her head, "I don't hate you, but I will NOT have any part of this, I won't, so just leave me alone."

I stood there shocked as she ran off to her next class. There was nothing good about this...except Melinda Gray didn't hate me...

* * *

A/N: o0o0o...here's to hoping I get another chapter up tomorrow...or maybe later today...


	4. Double Twist of Fate

**A/N: **Thanks for the reviews I appreciate it! I think you'll like this chapter...**  
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"Is she dreaming what I'm thinking?...Is she trouble, like I'm trouble? Make it a double twist of fate or a melody..."

-Green Day "She's a Rebel"

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Chapter Four: Double Twist of Fate

After my run in with Melinda, we immediately went home and gathered in the living room.

"She knows," I exclaimed as I paced the room.

"What did you tell her?" Rosalie accused.

"Nothing!" I was met with looks of doubt and I continued, "I went to walk her to class and talk to her. She basically said she knew we were vampires and she didn't want to get involved in anything."

"He's telling us the truth. There is no reason for him to lie," Edward said.

I nodded and Rosalie asked, "Is she going to do something? Tell someone?"

"I don't know! It seemed like she knew the moment we got here..." I answered frustrated.

"Well if she knew what we were when we got here and planned to tell someone she would have already. I don't believe she's going to tell anyone," Carlisle said.

"Well what are we suppose to do? We just moved here and once again Jasper is the reason we have to leave when we aren't ready," Rosalie said harshly.

I immediately shut down and in a voice devoid of all emotion I answered her question, "You don't have to do anything. I'll figure something out. I won't ever be the reason to force us to run again."

I left the room and headed upstairs. I crawled into my bed and covered my entire body with the covers. I wished that I could fall asleep. I wanted to turn my brain off, I didn't want to think anymore. I felt like there was a war raging on inside of me. I missed Alice; this would be the time when she would crawl in my bed with me and tell me everything was going to be alright. I also felt terrible for being so spellbound to this girl. She barley talks to me, but I need to talk to her. What did that mean?

"Jasper?" Bella called as she entered the room, "What are you doing under the covers?"

"Sleeping," I responded.

She lifted the covers and crawled in next to me, "Sleeping huh? I'm in need of a good sleep too. It has been over a century since the last time I had a good nights sleep."

I answered by rolling over on my side with my back turned to her. I wasn't in the mood for jokes.

"Ok then, how about we talk?" Bella asked.

I grunted, "I just want to lay here. Let me lay here please."

"Nope, not gonna happen mister. If you don't want to talk, I will. Rosalie is a bitch; I know you know that so let's just get over what she said," Bella said forcefully and continued, "Don't let one thing she said bring you back down. You've made so much progress, granted it took you a century but, it can't have been easy to lose your mate, I can't even imagine and nor do I ever want to. You can't let mistakes and regrets ruin you; I know it's hard, but you have to learn from them and move on. If you don't, Jasper, those mistakes and regrets that ruin you will take down everyone else that matters to you. You absolutely can not lay in bed and torment yourself."

I sighed loudly and returned to laying on my back, "I'm vampire, I'm suppose to be tormented."

"Wow...that was really depressing Jasper, and that sounds like something a vampire in a movie would say. Your life can't be a constant torment," Bella replied.

I furrowed my eyebrows and looked at her, "You know my life story, it _is_ a constant torment."

Her eyes met mine, "Everybody has ups and downs."

"Alice was my only up, Bella."

"Maybe...but Melinda seems to be an up for you," She suggested.

"No, she's definitely a torment," I argued.

"Other than her not wanting to talk to you, how so?"

"I feel bad..." I hesitated.

"For..." Bella prompted.

"Well, Alice was my mate...and...thinking of her just hurt too much and now that there is Melinda, whatever my pull to her is. Well I hardly think of Alice; I feel terrible, like I didn't love Alice the way I should have if another woman is consuming my mind. It also feels like I just stopped loving her because it hurt too much," I admitted.

"Oh Jasper, as cliche as it sounds, no one will ever take Alice's place. Just because someone else has come into your life doesn't mean you've stopped loving her. The fact that you still think about Alice and feel guilty tells me that you continue to love her still. As long as you don't let that guilt cripple you, its a good thing to continue loving Alice and what you had together," she said offering a small smile.

I smiled too, "When did you get so smart, Bella Bee?"

"When? I've always been this smart?" she answered and we both laughed.

There was a knock on the door and Edward came in as we were laughing.

"What is going on here?" his tone was sharper than normal.

Bella jumped out of bed and ran to Edward embracing him, "Hello love, I was just cheering up Jasper and making sure what Rosalie said didn't get to him."

I felt him relax and he turned his attention towards me, "I was thinking maybe we could scope out Melinda and just make sure she isn't up to anything. I thought that I could skim through her thoughts and we can figure out how she knew about us."

I nodded and Bella clapped her hands, "I'm coming too! It'll be like a spy movie. Vampire spies." She ran out of the room before we could respond.

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Melinda lived just outside the reservation. This was really lucky for us; we weren't sure if there were still werewolves in the area. It was late in the afternoon and we stared at her house from the forest across the street from her house.

"I don't think anyone is home, maybe we should go. I feel like a stalker," I said to Bella and Edward.

"We need to know what she knows, Jasper. We can't just leave," Edward responded.

"Yeah this is kind of fun, vampire spies. We never do anything this exciting anymore," Bella said excitedly.

I rolled my eyes, "Fine, just stop saying vampire spies."

Just as Bella was about to answer we saw Melinda's light blue Prius pull into the driveway. We watched her step out and go to the passenger side.

"C'mon honey. Lets go inside and see if dinner is ready," Melinda said to the two year old boy she held at her hip.

I whispered to Edward, "Do it now, while she's out here. I don't want to go inside."

Edward concentrated on Melinda and felt the same resistance as before. Again he pushed through it and began to shuffle through her mind. All of a sudden all her thoughts went blank and he could no longer hear her thoughts. I watched Melinda turn around and look in our direction.

She couldn't see anything, but she called out, "Hello? Is anyone out there?"

She shrugged and hurried inside.

"What the hell was that Edward? Why was she looking in our direction?" I asked.

"I have no idea. One moment I was in her mind and the next everything went blank. There was nothing there," he explained.

"Intriguing, she's like me," Bella said.

"What are we suppose to do now?" I wondered out loud.

"We wait until its complete dark or when she's asleep. Maybe then I can get in," Edward answered.

I was about to argue when the door flew open and a very large man stood on the porch looking in our direction.

"Come out vampires! I know you're there!" he called angrily, "If you don't leave now I promise this will not end up well for you."

Edward and I stared at each other with wide eyes while Bella couldn't take her eyes off the man.

"How did they know we were here?" I asked nervously.

"How am I suppose to know?" Edward responded clearly irritated, "What is going on here?"

"We should go. Lets get out of here," I said quickly.

Edward and I were getting ready to run when we noticed Bella was still staring at the man.

"Bee, we have to go," I said urgently.

"Jacob?" She whispered.

Edward's head snapped back to the man and took a good hard look.

"It's Jacob!" Bella exclaimed. Before she even realized what she was doing she was running towards him.

"Bella wait!" Edward called and chased after her.

"Aw jeeze," I breathed as I followed them.

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**A/N: **hehe...**  
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	5. Strange Love

**A/N: **So, bad news bears. I know I've been updating every other day or so, but I won't be able to update for a bit. I have to relocate my life for job opportunities so I'm not sure how long it will be until the next update, I'm hoping sometime next weekend I'll be able to do something and I'll make sure it's a long juicy chapter.**  
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"I suppose that I could hold it in, but you excite my every cell. Sources say that senses are your friends my senses say that I should tell you that I'm not ashamed. You might just feel the same, but you have to try it if you're ever really gonna know. My dear, I went for the steal, maybe it was rushed. Oh my crush, I've gotta crush."  
-Gavin Degraw "Crush"

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**Chapter Five: Strange Love**

"Bella?" Jacob asked in shock.

"Hey Jake," Bella smiled.

He shook his head, "You're a vampire..."

"Yup, you're alive...and older."

"Yeah, it's a story...um...do you want to come in?" Jacob asked politely

"YES!" Bella exclaimed.

"Um...Bella..." I was very hesitant about this whole situation.

"It's okay," Jacob reassured, "You guys are welcome. We should all probably talk about our situation anyway."

We entered Jacob's home and followed him into the living room. I saw Melinda and the little boy standing near the corner of the room.

"What the hell dad? Why are they here? You just let vampires into our home!" Melinda yelled.

"These are old friends Mel, and I know they go to your school. You should have told me; now I think you better get upstairs, we have to talk down here. Take Micah with you."

We listened to her stomp up the stairs and slam her door; It made me laugh.

"Sorry about her...she doesn't like any of this supernatural stuff. You know kids, they just want to be normal and fit in, and when they are normal, they are looking for any way to be different," Jacob explained.

Bella laughed, "Wow Jake, you're so mature now."

He smiled, "I know, a century tends to do that. I'm not a whiny kid anymore."

"Maybe we should discuss why we're here," Edward interrupted.

"So, Melinda's your daughter. How did that come about?" Bella asked ignoring Edward.

"Yes, her mother is traveling at the moment. You remember Leah Clearwater? Well my wife is Leah's great great granddaughter. After the treaty was broken and you all left there wasn't very much reason to shift anymore. I was...heartbroken that you left Bella that I only really felt comfortable as a wolf. Many of us decided to stop shifting and live our lives, but I decided to continue shifting just in case. Every now and again a vampire would come by and I would take care of it. After awhile word must have spread and decades went by without any attack. Then one day while I was grocery shopping there she was. My Haley, I was so relieved. I never thought I would love anyone the way I loved you Bella, but after I met Haley I completely stopped changing. Everything was fine, except three years ago when a vampire came to town and attacked Melinda." He finished.

"That's why she doesn't like vampires," I said with realization.

"Yes."

"So it wasn't really you Jasper," Bella smiled.

"What does that mean?" Jacob asked confused.

"Nothing," all three answered.

"Um...ok, well I guess we should discuss the treaty and everything," Jacob said.

"What do you mean?" Edward wondered.

"You guys being here will trigger the gene and I'm the only one left that can explain what is going on. Soon there will be an explosion of werewolves again. I'm willing to overlook he treaty being broken, but I must insist that if a human is harmed, we will have a problem. I don't want to fight, but I can not ignore it," Jacob said firmly.

"That won't happen again," I said through gritted teeth.

"Good," Jacob responded nodding, "Well I have to put dinner on the table. It was very good seeing you Bella."

"I'm glad to have seen you Jacob," Bella responded with a smile.

We ran back home to tell the family what we discovered.

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Bella and I relaxed on my bed as we watched the sun rise.

"That must have been weird for you. Seeing Jacob," I stated.

Bella nodded, "Yeah it was. I thought everyone from my past was gone. It felt like a different world; I mean he's married and has kids. It's hard to believe, but what about you?"

I looked at her confused, "What about me?"

"Well I mean Melinda. What are you going to do about her?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing?" she asked in disbelief.

"Nothing," I confirmed.

"Well you can't just do nothing!"

"That's what I said, I'm going to do. I mean she was attacked by a vampire. I'm pretty sure that's a great reason to hate us all," I sighed.

She rolled her eyes, "Then show her we all aren't that bad. Honestly Jasper, it's not that hard. I'll tell you what to do..."

"Shh...let's have quiet time Bee. You never use to talk this much."

"Fine," she huffed.

We got ready for school and I entered English class with trepidation. I wasn't quite sure how I was to act around Melinda, but I stared at her, like usual, while she walked in and took her seat next to me.

I smiled, "Hello Melinda."

She didn't look at me, but replied, "Hello Jasper."

"What a great start," I exclaimed, "I knew you'd come around."

She rolled her eyes, "Look, my dad told me that you guys were different and that I should give everyone a chance. So this is me, giving you a chance."

"That's all I need."

She shook her head and smiled a little bit, "What's the matter with you? Why can't you just leave me alone?"

I stared at her intensely. I had no answer to any of those questions. What was the matter with me and why couldn't I leave her alone? Maybe it didn't matter why, just that I couldn't stop.

"Jasper?" She laughed nervously, "You sure know how to make a girl feel self conscious."

I laughed, "Sorry. It's just...well...I can't really answer your questions. I don't know...there's just something about you."

She was about to comment when class started. I spent the class once again staring at Melinda like usual; the only difference was that every now again she would make eye contact with me. After class she packed up her belongings slowly. I sat in my chair waiting; I could tell she had something to say.

"So, do you only sit with your family during lunch?" she asked.

I was confused, "What?"

She smiled, "Well, maybe we could have lunch together today."

My eyes widened, "Yeah, sure. I'll walk you to class."

I was a little more than nervous as I walked to the cafeteria. I had to be one of the last students to arrive. I bought an apple and looked around for Melinda; I spotted her sitting at a table alone. She waved me over. As I sat down I thought about the first time Bella and Edward sat together for lunch; it made me smile.

"So there really is just something about me that makes you have to annoy me every day?" she asked smiling.

I laughed, "Well you refused to talk to me, it was the only way you would notice me."

"She took a bite of her sandwich, "True. So you really drink animals blood instead of humans."

"I do, we all do," I nodded.

"Have you ever had human blood?"

"Uh, I've...yes," I finished lamely.

"I figured, but it's good you've stopped," she responded.

"What's with all the questions?"

"I just thought I would get to know you."

"Why now?"

"Well, I figured I might as well. It didn't seem like you weren't giving up anytime soon," She smirked.

"No, I wasn't. I did think about pulling back a little bit, but then you asked me to have lunch with you," I replied.

"Good thing I did. I mean you seem nice, compared to the other vampire I _met_."

"We aren't all like that. At least my family isn't. We're friendly to humans."

"I've noticed. I guess I'm not all that surprised. My life is very weird to say the least. It's like this town has the ability to attract everything supernatural. It can't just be normal here," She sighed.

"I've noticed that about this town too," I agreed, "but normalcy is overrated don't you think."

She laughed, "I wouldn't know to be honest."

I smiled and we continued talking until lunch was over. I walked her to the rest of her classes and then to her car at the end of the day. I was beyond happy; it had been a long time since I felt like this. I got into the car with Bella and Edward.

Bella turned to look at me from the passenger seat with a huge smile on her face, "Sooooo..."

I looked at her, "Yes Bella Bee?"

"You had lunch with Melinda..."she leaded.

I looked at my finger nails and nodded, "Yes I did."

"And..."

"And...?"

She grunted, "Seriously? Are you going to torture me like this?"

Edward and I laughed and I nodded.

"Ugh! C'mon tell me how it went," she whined.

I smiled, "Great. She just asked me some questions and we talked. It was good."

Bella smiled, "Oh Jasper! I'm so happy for you!"

"Well thank you darling, but we just talked. Nothing to get too excited about."

"That's how it starts," she said knowingly.

I rolled my eyes, but continued smiling the rest of the day.

The next day I decided to drive over to Melinda's house and give her a ride. I pulled up just as she was stepping out.

"Can I give you a ride to school?" I called from my window.

She smiled, "Sure. I'd love one. We just have to take Micah to daycare."

I helped her grab the car seat from her car and put it into my car.

"Micah, this is Jasper, say hello," she said to Micah.

Micah stuck his tongue out at me.

I laughed, "Hey there little man."

"That's not nice Micah," Melinda scolded and Micah gave us a big smile.

She turned around and put on her seat belt, "Sorry about that. He's not very talkative."

I smiled, "That's okay. Oh I have something for you."

"What?"

I pulled out a long stem rose from the side of my seat and gave it to her.

She smiled and inhaled deeply, "Jasper Hale, I just might have a crush on you."

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**A/N: **^_^ That was fun, hope you liked it! Wish me luck on my move...until next time.**  
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